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Old 01-13-2015, 07:39 PM   #1
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Just for fun....

I cleaned these up, but if they are still over the line, just remove the post

************************************
One day my housework-challenged
husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,he shouted to me, what setting do I use on the washing machine?'


'It depends,' I replied.'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' University ofOklahoma ..'

*************************************

A couple is lying in bed.

The man says, 'I am going to make you the
happiest woman in
the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

*********************************************

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you
for your money,'
she replied.

**************************************************
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my
man;
Love to
forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I
pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to
death.

**************************************************
Q: What does it mean when a man is
in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down
long enough


****************************************
Q: How do you keep your husband
from reading
your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder
' Instruction Manual.'


****************************************
WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT
A TOILET
SEAT DOWN?
(don't know......it's never
happened)

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Old 01-13-2015, 07:43 PM   #2
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Good one"s... My favorite was from Red Skelton...
Had a fight with my wife... didn't see her for 2 weeks...
That's how long it took for the swelling to go down in both of my eyes!
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Old 01-13-2015, 09:02 PM   #3
lwg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnboytoo View Post
************************************
One day my housework-challenged
husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,he shouted to me, what setting do I use on the washing machine?'


'It depends,' I replied.'What does it say on your shirt?'

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Helvetica]He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
Ah, Texans... You must be a Longhorn fan!!! This is coming from a Sooner!
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Old 01-14-2015, 10:06 AM   #4
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Thanks for the morning chuckle. My eyesight is almost back to normal.
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Old 01-14-2015, 03:28 PM   #5
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Love that stuff!
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